I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
