Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
