i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
