New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
