fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
