Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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