So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
