Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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