At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
