I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
