I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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