...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
