so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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