are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
