i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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