O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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