Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
