Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize