Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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