barbara walters just said penis...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Terrible idea I love it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
