He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How does one acquire holy water?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
