Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
