I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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