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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  you're right.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  "I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting

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• (760): View more from California

  TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH

  (760): View more from California

  I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.

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