I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
