you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
