weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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