My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize