omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Vodka?
Forever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
