what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
