Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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