In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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