I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize