so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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