i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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