I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
