I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
