I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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