i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
