Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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