I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
