i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Terrible idea I love it
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize