See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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