as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize