well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
