You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize