Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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