So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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