apparently the secret to your success is patron
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
