She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
