i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize