Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize