Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
