How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
