yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
