So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
