Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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