Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
