I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
