This is not my ceiling
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
