Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize