The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The adults are the big ones right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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