When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
