I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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