It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
