Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
